The Tan Man Chronicles

During the last few years, skin color has been a big issue in American politics. This is kind of expected in a country that has it's first black president. Of course there's another guy whose skin color has been the subject of a lot of talk. This person is speaker of the house John Boehner. John Boehner has the distinct honor of being the only white guy that's significantly darker than some of the non-white members of congress. Many people think that his distinct December orangeness is from years and years of tanning and today, the truth came out. In fact, he tans so much that the tanning bed lobby, which is a real thing, owns the house that he rents for a relatively low price in the DC housing market. Also, this will be the first in a series of ridiculous blog posts that I'll be doing on the speaker of the house. You've been warned. Click on the picture below to learn more.

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Afternoon Distraction

I never thought that I'd be on a roll of hilariously awful failure when it came to the sad passing of one Earth's greatest heroes but,somehow it's happening. A couple of days ago I posted about how the local news station here put up the wrong graphic to remember South African leader and icon for freedom, Nelson Mandela. Between then and now there has been a public memorial service and a swarm of media coverage covering everything but the life of a man who did what most figured would be impossible.

Some of this media coverage has focused on President Barack Obama. While this would be perfectly fine if it was about the eloquent words that he spoke at the memorial service in front of what could have been a billion eyes, it isn't the case. The majority of the coverage on the president from the memorial service comes from him firstly, not immediately hitting the president of Cuba with a stone-cold stunner and secondly, him taking a picture with the prime ministers of Great Britain and Denmark. A lot of the coverage has had to do with the look on the face of the first lady while this was going on. I find it strange that people are so quick to want to hope that something is going wrong in the marriage of two people that none of us know on any sort of personal level. With that said, the good people at spirit airlines decided that this would be a good way to market their airfares and play on an old racial stereotype of the angry,jealous and irrational black woman. Click and be amazed.

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Random Act of Failure

First and foremost, I'm still kinda sad at the death of the great Nelson Mandela. While we all could see this coming from a mile away, that doesn't make it any less sad. It's a huge loss for anyone that believes in peace, freedom and equality. He's really one of my personal heroes and his influence on the world can not be overstated.

With all of that said, the local news here in Detroit tried to do something similar to my last few sentences but somehow failed at that. Click on the pic and be amazed.

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Lady Problems

I'm not a real ladies man. In fact, I'm kinda shy and awkward around women. I get nervous around really beautiful women. In a more general sense I have a hard time knowing how not to look like an idiot. Luckily for me I tend to just get quiet and nod in agreement to save myself the trouble. Of course this is a lot better than the tactics used by the G.O.P. It's become so bad for them that they're actually conducting classes on how to talk to,around and about women. Click on the video below.

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Video of the day

This snippet of civil rights legend and American hero Martin Luther King Jr never seems to get any airplay. I personally think that this needs to be reinforced repeatedly to younger generations. Watch,enjoy and be amazed.

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Pregame Madness

I haven't been on in a while and yes that does kinda suck. Another thing that sucks is the pregame bandwagoning going on when it comes to the 2016 presidential election. I can't state enough how idiotic it is to pick a winner before the game is even played and before we even know who's gonna be playing it. People were already on the Hillary bandwagon,the Chris Christie bandwagon and even the Rand Paul bandwagon an entire 2 and a half years before the game starts. It's like placing a $1000 bet on the Charlotte Bobcats to win the NBA finals in 2015 when we're not even sure if the NBA is going to keep a team in that city. What I'm saying is that all of this pregaming,bandwagon hopping and predicting is idiotic given the fact that in the case of the 3 people I mentioned may not decide to run. Hell,I'm not even that sure that they'll still be alive in 3 years,let alone run for president. Can we please focus on the current issues like the economy,Afghanistan,education and infrastructure and not suck on Chris Christie while he's still unable to see his own penis? That's all I ask.

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Just Killing Time Here

As you may have noticed due to the wall to wall news coverage,there was a shooting at the capitol today. While most people are confused,dismayed and shocked by today's events:there are some who see this as a set up by the government for some reason. By some people I mean Alex Jones and his special brand of idiocy. Click on the video below to hear the grand master of grandiose garbage gab about government ghoulishness.

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Afternoon Distraction

As you may by now the government has been shutdown thanks to a series of douchebag moves,temper tantrums and clear neglect. This issue has been so contentious that it's on every news channel. Due to the need of every news channel to fill up air time by talking to members of congress,a few idiots get on television from time to time. The idiot this time happens to be Representative Todd Rokita of the great state of Indiana. Watch below as he talks himself in a circle over Obamacare while trying and failing to flirt with CNN anchor Carol Costello. Oh and there's this thing.

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It's been a while.....

I know that I keep saying that I'm going to spend more time on here and I really should. Some of you may also be wondering what's been up with me and what's been going on. Well,with that said here are a few answers.

As many of you may know already,I started college back in August. So far the experience has been pretty awesome. I'm meeting new people,learning new things and most importantly I'm not hanging around the house and bugging my family. As a total bonus the scenery is just beautiful. I'm actually sort of mad at myself for taking so long to go back and do this. I could have been spending years enjoying time in a nicer area and having fun instead of bouncing between low paying manual labor and even lower paying manual labor.

In other,equally,if not more important news:I am now a proud uncle of a fantastic niece. She has already been a great influence on my life and my outlook of the world and it's only been a month. It's pretty amazing to see the human brain develop from a newborn perspective. It's insane to think that she's already gone from not knowing which way was up to pick and choose what type of music she likes. On top of all that it's pretty damn awesome being an uncle. It's like being a dad but with no responsibility.

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What's going on?

If you're one of the three people who have been reading this blog for a long time,thank you. You may have noticed that I haven't been posting nearly as much on here within the last year or so. You may be wondering why. To shorten this explanation just know that I've had a lot of craziness happening and being online wasn't exactly a priority. Of course that doesn't mean that I can't stop by and post on here. In fact I'm going to be doing a lot more posting just as a way to brush up on my ability and hopefully get better.

So,why the sudden interest in being back on here again? Well, that comes from the fact that I'm now a college student and for my English course I'm going to have to do a lot of typing anyway. Why not make it more fun? Why not use this as a way to give you and everyone else an insight into my classwork? By that, I mean that I'm going to be posting early drafts of assignments on here to see if they suck or not. It should be fun to get some sort of feedback on where I'm screwing up. Now to answer the questions that someone will inevitably ask me.

What are you trying to get a degree in? Computer information systems

What school are you going to? Currently WCCCD and hopefully somewhere bigger in the future. Maybe somewhere like Wayne State.

What took you so long to do it? A mixture of being poor but being too scared to risk the little money that I had on possibly failing. Of course now I'm still just as poor but I'm way past the end of my rope on being yelled at and verbally abused to only make $7.25 an hour and then have my hours cut.

Anything else you want to tell me? Sure,read the next paragraph.

Outside of finally taking my ass to college and trying to be something in life that may have a chance of owning a home,lots of other important things have been going on around me. By that I mean that my immediate family is about to get a little bit bigger. My little sister is very,very close to having her first child. She's due within the next few weeks and as expected,the entire family is extremely excited. I'm personally happy that the father isn't some random douchenozzle. The guy is actually pretty decent and respectable at a level that's way higher than I was when I was 21. I'm happy for the both of them and I'm pretty excited to be the cool uncle who's gonna immediately teach my niece how to fight. So,that's what's been up with me.

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