The greatest of all time calls it quits!

Obama Crosses the line twice!

Game Over!

We're finally out of Iraq.

99 Problems

He got 99 problems but Mitt ain't done.


20+ weird things you may or may not have wanted to know about Sarah Palin.

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

The year in review(the personal side)

The year 2013 was a pretty big one for me. In fact it was probably one of the better years in my life in a general sense. Firstly; I actually heard the words "you're hired!" 3 different times this year, secondly, I did something that I had put off for far too long and started going to college and thirdly, it was a huge year for my immediate family and my sister in particular.

In 2012, I was basically doing any and everything possible to just try to get by and honestly, I was failing pretty hard at it. This year made things a lot easier for me. By no means am I rich, living in a lap of luxury or even what can be considered lower-middle class. What I'm really saying is that it feels good to have some sort of semi-consistent income coming in. With all of that said, the next paragraph is going to be spent describing the jobs I've actually done this year.

As stated earlier, I did get "hired" 3 different times this year but I'm currently only working one of those jobs. You may be wondering why I'm only working one job and it's pretty easily explainable in the next few sentences. The first job ended due to inconsistent hours, verbal abuse and a complete and utter disregard of the line of common decency from the manager who was only making $1 an hour more than I was. The second job just had the type of hours that I would not be able to work due to me not having a car. I'm currently working at and enjoying the 3rd job which was a 2nd job from 5 years ago but now it has a slightly higher payday and it's shockingly easy to me.

Another big part of 2013 for me was finally starting college. For years, I had put it off, made excuses for not going and just generally avoided the subject. In 2013, my lack of a job and the fact that I was getting very few call backs for jobs that I should have had made me change that and I don't regret it. The college experience has been one of the better experiences of my life and I owe it to a few people for pushing me in that direction.

A big part of why college is so great for me is that I finally get to prove to myself that I'm not a total dumbass. I was actually able to surprise myself with how well I did during the first semester. Of course the other part as to why college is so awesome is that I get to constantly challenge myself to learn and do something new. I'm at the point now that I'm actually trying to look in to internships. If everything continues to work out, 2014 will probably be even bigger and better and it'll include tons and tons of blog posts.

As for the third point, I don't need a ton of sentences or paragraphs to sum it up. In simple terms........this happened in September.

I'm an uncle and that alone gives me more than enough reason to keep trying to do better.

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Rubber Ducky Dynasty

Am I the only one that finds it weird when someone older than the age of 15 talks about fucking a 15 year old? If so, let me know. I guess what I'm obviously leading up to is a video where someone who happens to be old enough to be a grandfather and maybe even great grandfather is talking about that very thing. Click, watch and be amazed as we find out that R. Kelly isn't the only celebrity that America kinda likes that kinda likes young girls.

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

The Battle For Christmas!!

Last week, I kinda made a passing reference to the fact that the WWE was having a battle to settle the Santa debate once and for all. Would Bad Santa win and cancel Christmas for all the children in the world or would "Good Santa" Mark Henry win and save Christmas for everyone who celebrates the season. Luckily for everyone, I have the highlights of the fight. Click below and be amazed.

Song of the day

It's the Christmas season and there's a lack of amazing hip hop songs for this yuletide season. Of course, there are the classics like "Christmas Rappin'", "Santa Claus goes straight to the ghetto" and the amazing Ying Yang Twins song "Carol of da Bellz" which has the bonus of being a Christmas song for the strip club. Those songs are all well and good but what we need is a classic Christmas song from a white rapper, particularly a couple of white, Christian, God fearing, America loving rappers with stupid, dope, fresh, hard rhymes. Click and be amazed by 2 pastors rappin' for Jesus.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

The Battle for Christmas!

During the last few days there has been a big debate over what color Santa should be. Is he white? Can he be another color? Is he real? Does the idea of a non-white Santa threaten white people in some way to the point that they have to keep reinforcing that Santa is white? These are the questions that should be and are being asked. In the clips below you'll hear some of the best conservatives in America discuss the implications of making Santa anything other than a white man. Something tells me that Rush and Bill O'Reilly wont be cheering for Mark Henry"Good Santa" during the WWE's battle for Christmas on next Monday's episode of "RAW".

The Tan Man Chronicles

During the last few years, skin color has been a big issue in American politics. This is kind of expected in a country that has it's first black president. Of course there's another guy whose skin color has been the subject of a lot of talk. This person is speaker of the house John Boehner. John Boehner has the distinct honor of being the only white guy that's significantly darker than some of the non-white members of congress. Many people think that his distinct December orangeness is from years and years of tanning and today, the truth came out. In fact, he tans so much that the tanning bed lobby, which is a real thing, owns the house that he rents for a relatively low price in the DC housing market. Also, this will be the first in a series of ridiculous blog posts that I'll be doing on the speaker of the house. You've been warned. Click on the picture below to learn more.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Afternoon Distraction

I never thought that I'd be on a roll of hilariously awful failure when it came to the sad passing of one Earth's greatest heroes but,somehow it's happening. A couple of days ago I posted about how the local news station here put up the wrong graphic to remember South African leader and icon for freedom, Nelson Mandela. Between then and now there has been a public memorial service and a swarm of media coverage covering everything but the life of a man who did what most figured would be impossible.

Some of this media coverage has focused on President Barack Obama. While this would be perfectly fine if it was about the eloquent words that he spoke at the memorial service in front of what could have been a billion eyes, it isn't the case. The majority of the coverage on the president from the memorial service comes from him firstly, not immediately hitting the president of Cuba with a stone-cold stunner and secondly, him taking a picture with the prime ministers of Great Britain and Denmark. A lot of the coverage has had to do with the look on the face of the first lady while this was going on. I find it strange that people are so quick to want to hope that something is going wrong in the marriage of two people that none of us know on any sort of personal level. With that said, the good people at spirit airlines decided that this would be a good way to market their airfares and play on an old racial stereotype of the angry,jealous and irrational black woman. Click and be amazed.

Monday, December 9, 2013

Random Act of Failure

First and foremost, I'm still kinda sad at the death of the great Nelson Mandela. While we all could see this coming from a mile away, that doesn't make it any less sad. It's a huge loss for anyone that believes in peace, freedom and equality. He's really one of my personal heroes and his influence on the world can not be overstated.

With all of that said, the local news here in Detroit tried to do something similar to my last few sentences but somehow failed at that. Click on the pic and be amazed.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Lady Problems

I'm not a real ladies man. In fact, I'm kinda shy and awkward around women. I get nervous around really beautiful women. In a more general sense I have a hard time knowing how not to look like an idiot. Luckily for me I tend to just get quiet and nod in agreement to save myself the trouble. Of course this is a lot better than the tactics used by the G.O.P. It's become so bad for them that they're actually conducting classes on how to talk to,around and about women. Click on the video below.

Friday, November 15, 2013

Video of the day

This snippet of civil rights legend and American hero Martin Luther King Jr never seems to get any airplay. I personally think that this needs to be reinforced repeatedly to younger generations. Watch,enjoy and be amazed.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Pregame Madness

I haven't been on in a while and yes that does kinda suck. Another thing that sucks is the pregame bandwagoning going on when it comes to the 2016 presidential election. I can't state enough how idiotic it is to pick a winner before the game is even played and before we even know who's gonna be playing it. People were already on the Hillary bandwagon,the Chris Christie bandwagon and even the Rand Paul bandwagon an entire 2 and a half years before the game starts. It's like placing a $1000 bet on the Charlotte Bobcats to win the NBA finals in 2015 when we're not even sure if the NBA is going to keep a team in that city. What I'm saying is that all of this pregaming,bandwagon hopping and predicting is idiotic given the fact that in the case of the 3 people I mentioned may not decide to run. Hell,I'm not even that sure that they'll still be alive in 3 years,let alone run for president. Can we please focus on the current issues like the economy,Afghanistan,education and infrastructure and not suck on Chris Christie while he's still unable to see his own penis? That's all I ask.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Just Killing Time Here

As you may have noticed due to the wall to wall news coverage,there was a shooting at the capitol today. While most people are confused,dismayed and shocked by today's events:there are some who see this as a set up by the government for some reason. By some people I mean Alex Jones and his special brand of idiocy. Click on the video below to hear the grand master of grandiose garbage gab about government ghoulishness.

Afternoon Distraction

As you may by now the government has been shutdown thanks to a series of douchebag moves,temper tantrums and clear neglect. This issue has been so contentious that it's on every news channel. Due to the need of every news channel to fill up air time by talking to members of congress,a few idiots get on television from time to time. The idiot this time happens to be Representative Todd Rokita of the great state of Indiana. Watch below as he talks himself in a circle over Obamacare while trying and failing to flirt with CNN anchor Carol Costello. Oh and there's this thing.

It's been a while.....

I know that I keep saying that I'm going to spend more time on here and I really should. Some of you may also be wondering what's been up with me and what's been going on. Well,with that said here are a few answers.

As many of you may know already,I started college back in August. So far the experience has been pretty awesome. I'm meeting new people,learning new things and most importantly I'm not hanging around the house and bugging my family. As a total bonus the scenery is just beautiful. I'm actually sort of mad at myself for taking so long to go back and do this. I could have been spending years enjoying time in a nicer area and having fun instead of bouncing between low paying manual labor and even lower paying manual labor.

In other,equally,if not more important news:I am now a proud uncle of a fantastic niece. She has already been a great influence on my life and my outlook of the world and it's only been a month. It's pretty amazing to see the human brain develop from a newborn perspective. It's insane to think that she's already gone from not knowing which way was up to pick and choose what type of music she likes. On top of all that it's pretty damn awesome being an uncle. It's like being a dad but with no responsibility.

Saturday, August 24, 2013

What's going on?

If you're one of the three people who have been reading this blog for a long time,thank you. You may have noticed that I haven't been posting nearly as much on here within the last year or so. You may be wondering why. To shorten this explanation just know that I've had a lot of craziness happening and being online wasn't exactly a priority. Of course that doesn't mean that I can't stop by and post on here. In fact I'm going to be doing a lot more posting just as a way to brush up on my ability and hopefully get better.

So,why the sudden interest in being back on here again? Well, that comes from the fact that I'm now a college student and for my English course I'm going to have to do a lot of typing anyway. Why not make it more fun? Why not use this as a way to give you and everyone else an insight into my classwork? By that, I mean that I'm going to be posting early drafts of assignments on here to see if they suck or not. It should be fun to get some sort of feedback on where I'm screwing up. Now to answer the questions that someone will inevitably ask me.

What are you trying to get a degree in? Computer information systems

What school are you going to? Currently WCCCD and hopefully somewhere bigger in the future. Maybe somewhere like Wayne State.

What took you so long to do it? A mixture of being poor but being too scared to risk the little money that I had on possibly failing. Of course now I'm still just as poor but I'm way past the end of my rope on being yelled at and verbally abused to only make $7.25 an hour and then have my hours cut.

Anything else you want to tell me? Sure,read the next paragraph.

Outside of finally taking my ass to college and trying to be something in life that may have a chance of owning a home,lots of other important things have been going on around me. By that I mean that my immediate family is about to get a little bit bigger. My little sister is very,very close to having her first child. She's due within the next few weeks and as expected,the entire family is extremely excited. I'm personally happy that the father isn't some random douchenozzle. The guy is actually pretty decent and respectable at a level that's way higher than I was when I was 21. I'm happy for the both of them and I'm pretty excited to be the cool uncle who's gonna immediately teach my niece how to fight. So,that's what's been up with me.

Picture of the Day

It's been 50 years since the historic March On Washington and to say that it had a huge impact on America is a grossly negligent understatement. It may have been one of the most important days in the history of this great country. As many of you may know,there are events all throughout Washington DC this weekend and in to next week commemorating the occasion. I've always wondered how many people from the original march would show up to this event and now I'm kinda closing in on an answer. What I know for sure however is that this man and this sign was,is and will always be relevant to what we should be fighting for in America.

Monday, August 12, 2013

Michelle Obama has a rap album!

In what clearly has to be a first in the history of American first ladies,our current first lady,the fairly awesome Michelle Obama is putting together a rap album. While she wont be spitting any hard rhymes or laying down a smooth and sensuous chorus, she will be employing a whole host of musical luminaries, to get kids excited about exercising and eating right. This includes people such as TV star Ariana Grande, American Idol winner and exercise fanatic Jordin Sparks,Doug E Fresh(who is a genuinely nice guy in person) and DMC of the legendary Run-DMC. Wanna read more? Click on this sentence. If you want to see the track list and the first video from the album,just take a quick look below.

1. ‘U R What You Eat’ (Salad Bar: Matisyahu, Ariana Grande, Travis Barker)
2. ‘Everybody’ (Jordin Sparks, Doug E. Fresh, Dr Oz, Ryan Beatty, Hip Hop MD)
3. ‘Let’s Move’ (Doug E. Fresh, Artie Green, Chauncey Hawkins)
4. ‘Just Believe’ (Ashanti, Gerry Gunn, Artie Green, Robbie Nova)
5. ‘Veggie Luv’ (Monifah and J Rome)
6. ‘Hip Hop FEET’ (DMC and Artie Green)
7. ‘Stronger’ (Shayna Steele, Jeremy Jordan, Our Time Theater kids, and E-Street Band guitarist Nils Lofgren)
8. ‘Give Myself a Try’ (Ryan Beatty)
9. ‘Jump Up’ (Brady Rymer and the Little band that Could)
10. ‘Hip Hop LEAN’ (Artie Green)
11. ‘Pass the Rock’ (Iman Schumpert and Artie Green)
12. ‘Good Living’ (Ashton Jones)
13. ‘Beautiful’ (Daisy Grant and Artie Green)
14. ‘Change the Game’ (The Happiness Club, featuring Naledge)
15. ‘Wanna Jump (Let’s Move)’ (Paul Burch)
16. ‘Mother May I’ (Amelia Robinson)
17. ‘We Like Vegetables’ (Los Barkers!)
18. ‘Get Up Sit Up’ (Babi Floyd)
19. ‘One Step Forward’ (Samite)

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

The Air Force is now gay

In recent years,the military has been trying to become more inclusive. By that I mean that don't ask,don't tell came to an end and gay people can be pretty open in the military. This is a good thing because honestly,I wouldn't want a guy who's openly lying because he'd be oppressed if he didn't,in charge of high powered weaponry. I'll let you think about why I wrote that last sentence for a few seconds.

In the air force,the end of don't ask,don't tell means that the guy currently in charge can be as open as he feels comfortable with about his sexuality. Eric Fanning is the new acting civilian leader of the Air Force. This position makes him the highest ranking,openly gay person in the history of the American military. To read more and learn more,click on his pic below.

Poll Position

To say that politics often veers into the lane of ridiculousness is a gross understatement at the very least. A large part of the political process has to do with polling. Polls let us know how voters feel on things ranging from the candidates and their personal opinions to more important issues such as gay marriage,immigration reform and education. In the state of Georgia,the people behind Public Policy Polling put out a hypothetical situation and asked voters who they liked. This hypothetical included civil rights legend and real American hero,Dr Martin Luther King Jr and TV chef,sugar maven,butter aficionado and plantation fetishist Paula Deen.

In a normal world,Dr King would clearly rank highly positive when it comes to how people view him but you and I both know that this post has ridiculousness in it. In reality,in Georgia,among the people who were asked this question who happened to be republican voters,Paula Deen is much more popular than Dr King. In the year 2013, a TV chef who thinks that the wrong side won the war is more popular than a guy who was killed for having the audacity to ask that people of color not be beaten in the streets for wanting to have lunch. This goes to show that we in this country have a very long way to go when it comes to not being idiots.

On a side note Paula Deen's recipes are so-so at best. There are so many better southern cooks.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Random act of failure

People who know me in my real life or even on twitter know that I'm not that big of a fan of the state of Florida. It just comes across too weird for my taste. It also has a pretty awful recent history of not being a fan of black males. Of course everyone knows about the travesty surrounding Trayvon Martin but there's a new incident of ridiculousness that just happened in Florida. If you're not familiar with it,check out the video below and be amazed at the type of shit that black guys have to deal with just because our very existence seems to scare some people.

Friday, July 19, 2013

The President speaks....

On the trial of George Zimmerman,Trayvon Martin and how race plays into daily life in America. The President also opens up and lets people in on some of his own experiences with profiling and racism. This includes the president referencing the fact that certain people looked at him like a criminal before he became an elected official that spends a ton of time on TV. He also touched on how law enforcement is distributed weirdly different when it comes to young black males such as myself and everyone else. As expected a speech like this has angered idiots and you can click here to read some of the more influential idiots. Of course it would be better if you clicked on the video below and watched the president make some sense.

Video of the Day

As everyone knows,my beloved city of Detroit just filed for bankruptcy. As expected the city has now become the butt of jokes and a flood of people with exactly 0 idea of what led to the filing and why we're in debt in the first place have now become experts on finances that they have yet to see. As much as this annoys me I'm going to try not to angrily tweet at the next person from Rapid City,South Dakota that makes an idiotic comment. With all that said,the bankruptcy has been getting a ton of attention not just nationally but also internationally. With international attention comes the eventual Taiwanese animation of the issue of the day. Watch below as Detroit's problems get laid out in ridiculous fashion including an M&M representing Eminem gets shot on 8mile.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Picture of the day

Basically the republican view on women. Click for a larger version of it.

Glenn Beck Craziness

I haven't posted one of these in a while but I felt that this one was necessary because of how ridiculous it is. As many of you may or may not know,the wife of secretary of state John Kerry,Teresa Heinz-Kerry was hospitalized a few days ago after suffering a seizure. A seizure can be very serious and even my own grandmother had one in her sleep last week. Luckily my grandma is doing fine and is back to watching tigers games and making fun of me for various reasons. Teresa Heinz-Kerry wasn't so lucky and she's still in the hospital right now as doctors continue to monitor her. Of course knowing everything that we do know about the situation has led some people to believe that a 74 year old woman is blatantly lying to America about how serious it is to protect John Kerry. By some I mean Glenn Beck,who happens to have a real hate-boner towards a woman he has never met. Also,Hillary is still lying for Benghazi. Click and be amazed.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Picture of the day

I've honestly been trying to avoid anything to do with the trial of George Zimmerman because the whole thing disgusts me on a personal level. What disgusts me even more is that when I do check my twitter it seems like people are sympathetic to a man who disobeyed police orders and shot an unarmed kid. Also disgusting me is this ridiculousness in the Google Android Market. I don't know the approval process for android apps or if there even is one but if there is one this should be removed immediately for complete tastelessness.

Update: The people behind the "game" have a Twitter account.

Sunday, June 30, 2013

The debate rages on...

As you may already know, the supreme court ruled against DOMA and California's Prop8 last week. While this is a huge victory for gay people everywhere and particularly in my birth state of California,what does it mean for people outside of the golden state? Here in Michigan,marriage is defined as being between one man and one woman thanks to a 2004 vote on gay marriage that banned it outright. That bill also bans same sex domestic partnerships for government workers thus denying benefits for partners of gay government workers. That fact doesn't get mentioned at all in the video below thanks to the woman in it trolling everyone. In more recent times, the people of Michigan have had a bit of a change of heart when it comes to gay marriage according to a slew of polls of registered voters. Luckily,today, the local fox station decided to take up the question and debate on it. Watch below as the usually ludicrously loud Charlie Langton and the only reporter to ever use me as a step ladder,Taryn Asher moderate a debate on gay rights that gets ridiculous in a hurry.

Fox 2 News Headlines

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Just Killing Time here

I have nothing to do on this Saturday. Enjoy some ridiculousness.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Pic of the day

America's first black president standing in the very spot where the majority of American slaves were shipped from.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Video of the day

Earlier I had a post with some of the more crazy-eyed responses to the supreme court ruling against the defense of marriage act. To say that some people are not happy with it is an understatement. One person who is pretty happy with it is congresswoman Nancy Pelosi. When asked earlier about the rambling,cryptic sounding response to the ruling by fellow congresswoman and my future wife, Michele Bachmann, she had this to say.

Gay is OK?

That's basically the message that slightly more than half of the supreme court sent to the country today. In a 5 to 4 decision the court struck down the defense of marriage act on the basis that it's pretty much government sponsored discrimination. I for one totally agree with the majority on this one. In a truly free United States, we can't have the government sanctioning discrimination just because two dudes kissing makes another guy feel all weird. For the most part the decision has been met with cheers from the gay community,a mostly nonchalant attitude from most others and a few crazy eyed angry responses about the end of the world coming on thanks to the fruit basket explosion of gayness released upon this country thanks to this decision. Below are some of the crazier responses. Also,click here for ridiculous responses from our elected leaders.

Rush Limbaugh thinks that striking down DOMA is part of the disintegration of these United States.

In fact he's pretty pissed off at the court over this decision.

He even thinks that this now turns the court into basically a bar where the winner is just the guy with the most backup. Yes,I do realize that the last sentence makes 0 sense but neither does the link that you're about to click on.

Glenn Beck now believes that this decision on DOMA will lead to America throwing the bible away and adopting polygamy as a policy. Probably Muslim polygamy though. I think Rand Paul is with Glenn on this one.

And the super hot Laura Ingraham has now come out to say that the DOMA ruling will make Catholics "Persona Non Grata" in America.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Faux outrage

Recently it was revealed that the government was collecting phone data from Verizon customers. Obviously this has caused many people to be up in arms about their civil liberties being violated by Obama personally going through their iPhones. People are angry at this blatant invasion of privacy that has been going on for at least the last seven years via the patriot act. You can bet money that people are going to be telling you to calm down. Some might even call this the biggest overreach in the history of American government that this particular president has the nerve to do something like continue a scaled down version of what the last guy was doing. Of course these same people tend to look the other way when it comes to every website collecting and selling their personal info to shady,foreign businesses and ad agencies. They'll look the other way on the actual physical following,profiling,stalking and harassment of many different minority groups. They don't mind the fact that there's probably an FBI agent in front of every mosque with a listening device in the middle of a residential neighborhood. Of course all of this pales in comparison to the government vaguely getting the numbers of people who felt like it was a good idea to pay Verizon over $100 a month just so they can look cool with an iPhone. I actually sat down and thought about why people were outraged about iPhone users being tracked but not so much about things like racial profiling, the house of representatives trying to deport children of undocumented immigrants and stop and frisk. The answer hit me right before I started typing this. I found out that you can't exactly get the iPhone 5 on discount cell carriers like Virgin Mobile or MetroPCS but you can on Verizon. What I mean by this is that iPhone users are generally more affluent and therefore much better Americans than those lazy blacks,disgusting Mexicans and shady Arabs. This follows the same pattern that I have seen my entire life. We can look at the TSA and their random searches as an example. People were totally fine with them searching mostly Middle Eastern looking people and other assorted minorities. It became a problem once they started searching the wrong kind of people. This pattern repeats itself over and over on every issue of civil liberties and supposed disrespect of those liberties. Maybe one day (white)Americans will get as upset about racial profiling and their black neighbors being beaten in the streets or their Latino neighbors constantly having their citizenship questioned as they are about not being able to get high on playgrounds without the government going through their iPhone.

On an even more personal level as someone who has been followed around stores,stopped by cops while simply walking down the street and falsely accused of crimes for fitting a vague description of being black on a Thursday, I have 0 problem with the government knowing that some woman out there has a picture of my package. I just hope that they enjoy the picture as much as I enjoyed sending it. I put a lot of effort into getting the picture just right. Also, I'd take that over always being followed every time I go across 8mile or too far up Woodward. Racial profiling,our broken education system and our unwillingness to find real solutions and Nancy Grace having an orgasm about a murder trial on live TV are things to be mad about. This NSA thing is irrelevant bullshit.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

This is the end....

Today is a particularly sad day on this site. Despite my personal life starting to get back on track and even this site starting to draw in a few extra clicks despite me not spending enough time on it, it's still a pretty sad day. It's melancholy around here thanks to one horrendous event. My personal hero,object of sexual desire and all around great person who deserves to lead the house intelligence committee, Michele Bachmann, has decided to not run for reelection in Minnesota. As one or two of you may know, I did in fact name my site after congresswoman Bachmann. I'll miss hearing her rant on how and why Obama may be a terrorist. I'll miss her daily prayers for the end of the affordable care act. I'll miss hearing the constant innuendo and accusations aimed a her husband Marcus. I'll also miss the hilarious random pics of her. She says that she's retiring to focus on real life and possibilities in the real world. Others think that an active criminal investigation may have something to do with it. Whatever the reason, I'll miss that woman. Watch her announce her retirement from the game right after the pic.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Our media is failing us

This post was originally going to be just a video of the president giving his speech on national security,foreign policy and the shifting strategy in the war on terror. This really was going to be a post filled with substance. I was going to fill it with links to the full text of the speech and more links analyzing and pointing out the highlights of the nearly hour long speech. Of course that plan fell to pieces thanks to me deciding to search for the video of this important speech on Youtube. It turns out that no one cares that the president outlined a slightly more clear policy on when,where and why we'll use drones. No one cared that he pointed out that foreign aid makes up less than a tenth of a percent of our budget but is wildly successful in helping us win the hearts and minds of people all over the world. In fact no one even gave much of a damn about him mentioning why congress should back him up in his effort to finally close Guantanamo. All of this was overshadowed by a woman yelling about the president not closing Gitmo right as he's making the case for closing Gitmo. This incident is literally the biggest thing to come from a speech that should have us all talking about the actual substantial policy in it. For this I blame our media. It has once again failed us. Instead of reporting on facts,issues,national security and things that will actually effect us as people we're stuck seeing report after report on a woman who basically had a temper tantrum like a 4 year old and couldn't let the president finish a sentence because she got tired of waiting on him to mention the one thing that she's pretending to care about. Watch the video of this idiocy below. Or you can be one of the smarter Americans and watch the actual speech and learn a few things.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Crossing the line?

During the last couple of weeks there have been a couple of instances of the Obama administration crossing the line. What I mean by this is that the IRS kinda targeted charities with the words "tea party" or "patriots" in their name. Naturally this has outraged conservative groups,fox news and republican officials who see this as an intrusion of privacy and an affront to the liberties of hardworking Americans. While this may come across as a jerk move, it isn't exactly illegal. According to the law, it's perfectly fine for the IRS to make sure that tax exempt,nonprofit charities aren't using their funds to promote candidates for public office. If they do this their tax exempt status gets revoked. With that said is it really wrong for the IRS to check and make sure that a 501c3 is what it says it is and not a superPAC? I mean, they did audit the NAACP a decade ago at the insistence of MSNBC host Joe Scarborough for this very reason and no one seems to be even the least bit upset at that. In all honesty there may be a pretty decent case to investigate Karl Rove's Crossroads GPS group. Are we as a country freaking out over another made up scandal? Or do you really believe that this could be the scandal of the decade......outside of the 4 people killed in Benghazi.

Monday, April 22, 2013

An attack of ignorance

Brian Kilmeade from Fox news isn't known for his expertise on foreign policy,domestic policy,women's issues,economics,professional wrestling,healthcare or terrorism. In fact I would go as far to say that he isn't an expert and probably should not be called on to discuss the issues listed above. I also am in no way an expert on any of those issues outside of the classic attitude era of WWE. What I do know however is that some ideas are just plain stupid. I also know that Brian Kilmeade is a man of stupid ideas. This wouldn't bother me if he were just ignorant of things involving the newest Miley Cyrus song or doing the stanky leg. It bothers me because his stupid ideas come at the worst times and are related to the worst topics. I don't even need to explain that last week, Boston was attacked by two terrorists who set off pressure cooker bombs at the finish line of the Boston Marathon. It's a horrific and tragic event that America will be dealing with for some time to come. Thanks to the combined work of the FBI and the many police forces in and around the city of Boston, terrorism suspect Tamerlan Tsarnaev was killed and his younger brother Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was captured. Of course if it were up to Brian Kilmeade, this would have never happened because we would have prevented it through good old fashioned racial profiling. Of course this idea would have failed because these two guys are Caucasian. They're so white that they're literally from the Caucasia region. This is literally thousands of miles away from the middle eastern terrorists that Kilmeade mentions in the first clip. If the two guys are white,why is he upset about the government not racially profiling Arabs more than it already does? Click,watch and be amazed by a discussion of dumbness.

Oh, and if we can't racially profile people, can we please go back to harassing Muslims? Click and watch two more old white guys blame a mosque in Massachusetts that kicked one of the terrorists out for being a crazy bigot, for the Boston terror attack.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Congressional stupidity

In all seriousness I'm amazed that I even have to write this post. It really boggles the mind. With that said,I'm going to keep this one fairly short. As you may or may not already know, the Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938 is being amended to add extra protections against unfair,unjust and illegal discrimination based on race,gender and sexual orientation. It's also closing the loophole that allows women to be paid 20% less than their male counterparts for the same exact work. This is a bill that makes so much sense that you would think that there would be no political controversy or tomfoolery involved. Of course this being the United States congress, you'd be very wrong. In fact some members of the GOP are taking the time to completely block a vote on this issue. Click the picture below to be amazed and disturbed.

Monday, March 25, 2013

Bad Choices

Everyone knows that for the most part life is a series of choices based on circumstances,situations and strategy. Yup, it's kinda like a video game. As with any video game, there are some things that are totally out of your control. This is even more true in real life. In real life you always have to deal with insane,unplanned and ridiculous variables. Because of these variables things such as choice are nonexistent. For some people these variables range from being too short to ride a roller coaster to being born with a debilitating disorder. For many millions of people this variable was being born into slavery. Slaves had no choice. For them it came down to stay a slave or face certain death in an attempt to escape. Of course most of you knew this but if you ask the fine people who wrote United States History for Christian Schools, 2nd ed., slavery itself was a choice and probably not a bad one. While the fact that a textbook with this amount of ridiculousness in it even exists is offensive enough, what's worse is that this is being taught in schools that are funded by our tax dollars. Specifically it's being taught in Louisiana. Louisiana is a state that has a governor that believes that private schools should be able to operate without any oversight whatsoever. This is also while he has 0 problem funding private schools with scarce public money. To read more and be amazed by the idiocy of Bobby Jindal, click this half of the sentence.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Something bugging me

Earlier today while reading things on twitter and trying to relax after another day of riding around the metro area applying to jobs that I probably wont get, I came across an article that kinda got to me. It didn't make me tear up. It made me angry due to the stupidity in the video that accompanied it. In the article, the author points out that the GOP and the people at CPAC in particular are having a hard time reaching out to people who aren't old white men. In the video we get to see pretty blunt evidence as to why this is true. In the video a presenter is trying to teach the crowd how to deal with accusations of racism when it all takes a weird and stupid turn.

What the guy in the video doesn't get is that slavery did nothing good for anyone,ever. It held us back as a nation for generations. It was the reason behind America's bloodiest war and honestly it made a lot of people lazy. It annoys me when I see a white person or anyone for that matter say that slavery wasn't that bad. I'm sure the 16 hour days of backbreaking labor,in the hot sun while being beaten severely and wondering if your wife is going to be sold off was a breeze for my ancestors. I mean, we did invent that wonderful blues music from it. I'm sure the prospect of possibly being killed for trying to escape to a life that doesn't involve systematic mental torture was also a fun time for my ancestors. It bugs me knowing that even after slavery, we as black people have not had an easy time or even a fair shake in America. I'm sure some white person is going to read this and note that our current president is a black man but I'm going to preemptively counter and point out the amount of racist bullshit he has had to deal with due him being a black man. He's the leader of the free world and people still look at him like a common criminal. It also bugs me to know that I am by blood related to people who did in fact own slaves. It bugs me even more that those slaves are my family members. It also bugs me that I can find out everything about the white members of my family and trace them as far back as 17th century Ireland on my mom's side but I can't get past the 1850's for the black members. I also realize that my story isn't that unique. It's long, it's weird, it's complicated and kinda sad but it's not unique. I don't know where I truly come from and there are tens of millions just like me. We could all get expensive DNA tests and the best that it would do is tell us which geographical area of the continent of Africa, which happens to be the largest land area with actual people on it. I guess what I'm saying is that it sucks not knowing who I am and it sucks even worse knowing that I'll never get a real answer to that question. Thank you white people.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Limbaugh Lunacy

As you may have already known, yesterday, the Catholic church chose a new pope. It's a huge,monumental,celebratory event for people all around the world. It's one of those events that makes the world stop and ask "Who is this new guy and what is his philosophy in life?". It's an event that brings people of all faiths together just to enjoy the atmosphere of love,optimism and jubilation. Of course Rushington P Limbaugh is not normal people. In fact he may be the one guy that saw the election of a new pope as an opportunity to go after people who slightly disagree with him politically in an almost religiously blasphemous type of way. Listen to Rush as he explains why he thinks that those slightly left of him might want the new pope to renounce the teachings of Jesus Christ.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Song of the Day

I haven't done one of these in a minute but I felt that this was important. I, like many of my other black brethren have been a bit annoyed by the "new" dance craze the Harlem Shake. I'm not annoyed at the song despite it's repetitive boring beat. I'm not mad at the goofy dance. I'm kinda annoyed at how it's totally mislabeled. What they're doing is not the Harlem Shake. The Harlem Shake is a dance that has been extremely popular in and around NYC for my entire life span. That's 25 years! It's a fast paced,highly skilled and on beat dance that has been used by many skilled dancers for decades. This new craziness is not that, at all. In fact the real Harlem Shake has been popular in the national and international hip hop community for at least a decade and it's thanks to none other than Sean "Diddy" Combs, G. Dep and the rest of the old Bad Boy records crew. Click on the first video to see professor Melissa Harris-Perry explain the history of the dance and it's significance to black culture. Click on the 2nd video to see how it was first introduced to people not living in and around the New York, tri-state area. If I wanted to sum this up in ridiculous hyperbole, I would say that calling the new dance the Harlem Shake is like me calling myself an Italian just because my first name is an actual Italian name.

Droning on

If you were on Twitter on Wednesday you may have noticed Rand Paul being the top trend most of the day. This is due to his stance against the Obama administration wanting to have the legal capability to target and kill Americans with drones if it ever came down to an outlandish situation that warranted a drone. I for one do not like the idea of drones at all outside of using them to spy on people. Of course with that said I think Rand Paul and his filibuster happen to be complete bullshit. In fact I kinda dislike most of the people who suddenly found it horrible that we might use a drone to possibly one day shoot at an (white)American in America one day for being a terrorist. I find it a little ridiculous that no one has a problem with the nearly decade of us using drones to kill people in other countries that we aren't at war with but are outraged at such tactics possibly one day being used here. I find it funny that Rand Paul, a man who is on record as being cool with discrimination and for some reason voted against the violence against women act is now being hailed as a guy who cares about civil liberties. In fact he was one of only 8 to vote against that bill but now he's the new champion of civil rights for one shitty filibuster. If you really think that he gives a shit about you,you are an idiot. Also, if they wanted to, congress could introduce a bill to outright ban the use of drones and if that fails to get enough votes someone can always sneak it in a more popular bill. Of course that would get in the way of some of the money Rand's comrades are making from drone makers. Just sayin....

There's more that I have to get off of my chest as I type while listening to some of the finest southern rap music available. I for one am sick of fake outrage. In the other paragraph I pointed out that we as a country did not give a shit about drones until the possibility of one of us being shot came up. Why is that? Were those entire neighborhoods being hit by missiles in Pakistan and Yemen less important? Are we only using moral objectivity to raining robots of death when it comes to saving our own asses? And thanks to the precedent we set years ago, what's stopping the Russians,Chinese,North Koreans or Iranians from getting drones and shooting at people in the United States right now? Is it only legal because we do it? Someone give me some answers! This all seems like something that I see on the news way too often. A black kid gets shot in Detroit and no one cares but if one suburbanite gets killed it becomes a national outrage. Basically we're cool with savagery as long as it happens to the right people who happen to not live around us. When most of you move past your double standard on drones and life in general you can talk to me. Until then keep pretending to care while openly showing that you could not care any less. Congrats to Rand Paul on not wanting Americans to get shot by drones in America but that filibuster is the most transparent,grandstanding bullshit I have seen in a while.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Random act of failure

Normally when I post these types of blogs, I wouldn't have this type of content. In fact this may be my first time posting a song on here as a complete failure but I feel that this one deserves it. It has a myriad of things to not like about it. These things range from the generic beat,weak at best rhymes,terribly sung/autotuned hook and the fact that we can't even get a clear picture of the guy doing the rapping. Click on the video below and be amazed at this adventure in sucking.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Sizing up the sequester

During the last few weeks all of the talk has been about the upcoming sequestration. This means that the government will arbitrarily start cutting funding to programs and departments in an effort to to cut down on our national deficit. Of course if it were up to me I would end things like no bid contracts,subsidies for oil companies and close up tax loopholes that allow companies like Facebook to get away with paying no taxes and receive a refund of over $400million. Since my ideas wont be getting any play in congress, you might as well click on the picture below to see how the sequester will uniquely screw over your state. For instance in the town of Warren,MI they will lose a ton of defense jobs. Let's hope that congress can get something done to stop this upcoming unneeded economic collapse.

Friday, February 22, 2013

A shotgun full of stupidity

When I'm not writing about porn and pontificating about my increasingly bleak outlook on life, I do occasionally talk about politics on this blog. In particular I try to write about the insanely absurd side of this thing that we call the American political system. Due to my enjoyment and sometimes hatred of the outright stupidity of the system, I've been able to learn about Texas congressman Louie Gohmert. The last blog I did on congressman Gohmert is one of the top 20 most popular posts ever on this site. That particular post dealt with his theory that illegal Mexicans were having babies in America in an effort to have those babies turn in to terrorists who would eventually destroy America as adults. That theory, as I have pointed out before, is the plot to the first part of the Dragonball series. In essence, he's saying that any child of an undocumented immigrant in this country is basically Goku,which the 13 year old in me thinks is kinda awesome. I really hope that we end up with a few super powered Mexican heroes, just like in the cartoon.

Of course Gohmert's new theory is just as cartoonishly dumb as the last one. His new theory is that we should not only avoid any type of gun regulation, but we should increase the number and types of guns available to the general public. His reasoning for this is that it will protect us from Muslim Sharia law. This is idiotic for a number of reasons. Firstly there's a thing in the constitution about separating church and state. This includes mosque and state too. What this means is that we can't make laws that favor any religion over other religions thus making the idea of even having a law made up specifically by and for one sect in the Muslim world in America something of a non-possibility. Secondly more guns wont solve a nonexistent problem. This is as idiotic as saying that armed guards would have stopped Columbine while missing the fact that Columbine had 2 armed guards who promptly didn't stop it but did call the police. Thirdly and equally as important, America doesn't exactly have an overwhelming Muslim population. In fact less than 1% of the country identifies as any form of Muslim. For congressman Gohmert's theory to even make a tiny bit of sense the population would have to be overwhelmingly Muslim and with a lot of Muslims in positions of power. Currently we have only one member of congress that identifies as a Muslim. With less than 1% of the American population even following the teachings of Islam this theory is just another case of an old white man making shit up out of fear of something that has less than no chance of happening. To get more in depth into his stupidity, click on this sentence.

Midnight Distraction

I have not done one of these in a very long time and it's time to change that. I figure that I should change that in a big way. I have on a few occasions before mentioned things about strippers and their varying degrees of sex appeal. I've even on a few special occasions mentioned a few things about porn....such as a former senatorial candidate being a dead ringer for a notorious porn star. Now I'm giving you everything you have ever wanted to know about the porn industry. This ranges from common names,career lengths and bra sizes to exactly how long will it take for you to get a new porn starlet to perform certain sex acts on film. Click on the picture below to get even more in depth.

Friday, February 8, 2013

Poll Position

In a recent Quinnipiac poll one political figure stood head and shoulders above the rest when it comes to popularity and favorability. Who is this favorable,popular and well loved person? It's not current president Barack H Obama or even vice president Smilin' Joe Biden. In fact it's not guys like the rubber tan man John Boehner or actual war hero John Kerry. It happens to be the favorite target of conservatives everywhere,Hillary Clinton. She also beat out 2pac historian Marco RubioTo find out her favorability rating click on this sentence.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Marco Rubio discusses rap music

I guess I should start this out by pointing out that there isn't much that myself and the republican senator from the great state of Florida agree on politically. Of course seeing that I'm not one of those people who spends his entire life being bitter and angry towards anyone that doesn't follow my exact ideology 1000% of the time. If I were that type of person,I'd never vote and would spend my days yelling at passing cars in my underwear on street corners. Since I'm not that type of guy, I decided to give this interesting video a look. What surprises me isn't the fact that a man in his 40's spent his college years listening to 2 of the greatest rappers of all time, it's the fact that I actually agree with his views on 2pac's lyrics. Also, I agree with his assessment of early to mid 90's rap music. Click on the video below to be amazed.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Just a few thoughts

I know that the gun control debate has been going on recently and personally I feel like we should have been having this conversation a long time ago. I know that since we live in a country full of idiots that we'll never have a society free of crime,violence and murder. The issues that lead to those things go much deeper than saying that we should get rid of assault weapons(great idea) and extended clips(also a good idea). Crime,the reasons behind it and why certain crimes tend to happen in certain places vary. In Detroit, most of the crimes have something to do with money. From drug deals gone bad,to robberies,carjackings and even failed robberies. These are the types of acts committed by desperate people who don't see any other way to survive in a town where opportunities are starting to become scarce to say the very least. A lot of this crime would probably not exist in my city if we took care of the most basic things like hiring more cops,turning on the street lights and having a school system that focused more on molding kids to lead successful lives and a little less on undermining students and teachers in the name of saving a few bucks(which they're also failing at doing). Another thing that would help is universal background checks on all gun sales. I do realize that criminals will find ways to get their hands on a gun if they're really determined to do so but we should do everything we can to make it harder for that to happen. On top of that, I find it a little weird that every couple of weeks I can go out to a gigantic flea market downriver and buy any gun that's in my price range with no questions asked but I need a prescription to get extra strong deodorant. I find it a little weird that a company is actively running a background check on me right now just to see if I'm a good fit to work inside of a freezer but no one is going to run one on me if I decide to go to Wal-Mart and buy a few rifles and some nachos. Oh and once they're done running the background check, they're going to ask me to take a drug test. I'm perfectly fine with the background checks,drug tests and hours of questioning to get the job driving a pallet jack inside of a 100,00 square foot. I just hate the fact that we don't go to the same lengths when letting people purchase guns. Even the NRA used to agree with me on background checks. What pisses me off even more are the nutjobs who happen to be against simple background checks. Nutjobs like my ex-masturbatory aide, Ann Coulter. She actually thinks or wants us to think that she thinks that background checks will lead to a holocaust-like scenario brought on by King Hussein Obama. Click below and be amazed by an idiot.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

It's been a while

I haven't posted anything in months and yes that does suck. With that said lets go over some of the things that have happened since the last time this thing was touched.

1. I'm getting old. I turned 25 a little over a month ago.

2. The Negro got reelected despite the best efforts of decent white people to stop it from happening.

3. America just barely avoided a fiscal crisis.

4. The secretary of state almost died from a blood clot.

5. Michigan became a right to work state.

6. Way too many people have beenshot in the city of Detroit.

7. And elsewhere.

8. America dominated during the Olympics,like always!

9. Miguel Cabrera finished winning the triple crown.

10. The Lions returned to being the Lions.

11. The Red Wings didn't even get the chance to disappoint us this year.

12. Someone royally famous got knocked up but unfortunately it wasn't Pippa being knocked up by me.

13. I found out that my family was basically passed down in a will. #blackproblems

14. I missed a lot during these last few months. Well, at least I can say that I have grown as a person in ways that don't include getting fatter. I enrolled for spring classes and I'm finally able to grow decent facial hair.